50 Shades of… Raese? Hardly!

I cannot help but assume the New York Times bestseller “50 Shades of Grey” must have had some influence on John Raese and his campaign team. On the second-time Republican U.S. Senate candidate’s website homepage, there are two videos. The top YouTube video, which is lengthy at 3:39, has shots featuring the candidate’s butt and crotch area in a pair of light denim jeans.

Does the man who thinks "We need 1,000 laser systems put in the sky” have poll results that say he needs to target a certain female age demographic? Did he and his campaign team feel that hopping onto the 50 Shades “Mommy Porn” wave would move numbers? Does he actually think West Virginians will find his derriere appealing? 

Trying to put myself in Raese’s alligator Gucci loafers...

	Christian Grey	John Raese
Ridiculous Wealth	Yes	Yes
Extremely Handsome	Yes	Nope
Sharp Dresser	Yes	As long as my gold Rolex is on
Owns several homes	Yes	Yes
Definitely in the top 1%	Yes	You bet I'm the top 1%
Owns an Airplane	Yes	Yes
Looks good in worn-looking jeans	Yes	Check out my butt again!

Nope, can’t picture it. Slow that twitching palm and keep on dreaming Raese.